A sleep coach who loves soothers!

Soother, pacifier, binky, soo-soo, sucky… whatever you call it. Yes, you have found a sleep consultant who won’t tell you that you need to get rid of the soother.

Why do soothers work? The sucking reflex can be soothing for babies, and we know anything soothing or calming can really help them sleep better (not to mention just keep them quieter in general!). However, it can become exhausting and not very logical if they’re not always using the boob or bottle - save that for when they’re actually hungry!

When should I use a soother?

Try a soother at bedtime. By try, I mean hold it in and try to touch it to the roof of their mouth… and try for more than just a few seconds. Include it in your bedtime routine, after the last feed of the day. Once they’ve burped, try it while changing them, reading a story, rocking, singing, whatever you do before bed. Then make sure it’s in their mouth when you leave the room and hopefully they’ll blissfully drift off to sleep without a peep.

If they’re currently building their independent sleep skills, they may cry when you leave and spit it out. The way you handle that is up to you. Many families choose to include this as part of their sleep training success - meaning, go back in quickly to replace the soother as many times as your little one needs until they fall asleep. The conclusion here is that it is something their baby relies on to fall asleep but at least it’s not baby sleeping on Mom or Dad. And it often can be a tried and true guarantee for helping their little to actually sleep. Others will just place the soother in their child’s mouth and not put it back in. So if it falls out, baby still learns to fall asleep without it and it was just part of bedtime (and morning when they wake up).

Ask me if you want to talk about ways to be right next to your child and support them to learn to sleep either with or without the soother every day. I would love to chat with you if you have more questions on how to handle decisions like this for your family.

Age: soothers or pacifiers can be used immediately after birth. It’s important to try to understand when they do actually need to be fed, vs. when they just need to suck.

When should I stop using a soother?

It’s something to consider and can be something I encourage families to think about if a parent is constantly running in throughout the night to replace their child’s soother. If it’s the only way that their kid will fall back asleep, then it may not be working for your family.

If your kid doesn’t love sucking. If it’s not much of a thing, then don’t worry about it. My daughter sucked two of her fingers every day and night, all day and night till she was 15 months when I helped her to drop the habit (we’ll talk about finger sucking another time!). She was never interested in a man-made soother because she had one attached to her hand! Honestly, it was a lifesaver for sleep and I would encourage any parent to not think twice about their child finger sucking.

My son liked it up to 1 month of age, and despite our best efforts, he refused it again until he was about 7 months old! Other kids just may not be interested in it at all. - so don’t stress about it. Use it if it works for your family and if you want to!

As for age: being done with the soother is a very personal decision. There are certain pros and cons as they get older, but it’s completely up to you. Many families feel it’s best to be done with it at 12 months, some around 2 years, and others are happy with it up until their child is 4. My son didn’t use it in the day after 12 months, but slept with it till after he was 2.

Which soother or pacifier do I recommend?

Many are great, and I’m not really concerned with which one you use, but some babies do have preferences, just like the bottles they’ll drink from. Dentists have their own recommendations to, but overall, just make sure they’re safe. The WubbaNub is my favourite. I used an elephant one for my son and a lamb one for my daughter. There’s just about any animal you could imagine and I’ll tell you why I like them!

• they’re like a lovey that becomes a comforting part of their sleep space

• they’re (gently) weighted so you can rest it on top of your newborn’s chest when you lay them down on their back and even if they spit it out it is more likely to stay put

• they’re easier for your baby or toddler to grab and replace on their own

• they don’t fall out of the crib through the slats

• you can find it much easier in the dark, in a car, or anywhere else in the house!

• it might be easier to tell which one belongs to your baby (seriously, this can be a big problem when it comes to socializing)

• legitimately easier to catch if it's falling off the table or out of a diaper bag, thrown from the car seat, you get the idea.

• of course, the WubbaNub is tested and passes applicable safety standards

Watch my kids grow up with their soothers. Could they BE any cuter?

What about pacifier safety?

Read the research yourself:

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/pacifier-greatly-reduces/

Pacifier Greatly Reduces Risk of Sudden Infant Death

Author: David Biello

Publication: Scientific American

Publisher: SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN, a Division of Springer Nature America, Inc.

Date: Dec 9, 2005

Copyright © 2005, Scientific American, Inc.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16216900/

Affiliation

• 1Department of Family Medicine, University of Virginia School of Medicine, Charlottesville, Virginia, USA. frh8e@virginia.edu

• PMID: 16216900

• DOI: 10.1542/peds.2004-2631