Why does my baby need to fall asleep independently?
3 minute read
What’s all the fuss about ‘independent sleep?’ And what is it anyway?
When your child has the ability to fall asleep unassisted from a parent, that’s independent sleep.
It may not be your jam. You may love that your baby falls asleep on you or with your assistance. It’s okay to cherish those sweet times with your little one. They grow up so fast!
On the flipside, it’s ALSO okay to realize what’s happening when you start thinking one of these things too:
“My child needs me all the time. I feel like I’m constantly pulled in all different directions and I can never get anything done or have any time to myself.”
“I just wish my partner could do bedtime sometimes.”
“It would be so nice for Grandma to relieve us so we could go out for a date.”
“I’m all touched out! I just wish my baby would be okay sleeping on his own.”
“He goes to bed fine at bedtime, but then I’m up 4 times every night. Each time it’s a battle to get them back to sleep and I am getting to the end of my rope! Why doesn’t my child sleep through like my friends kids who sleep 12 hours?”
I would have to say, independent sleep is usually the first and most important piece to consider when sleep training. There are many reasons why babies and children wake up through the night. In fact, even sleepers with solid sleep skills wake up at different times… as well as adults!
Connecting sleep cycles and learning how to fall back to sleep without mom or dad rocking, feeding singing, bouncing, patting, shhhing, driving or more… is a bridge for every kid to cross. It really is possible to put your child down in his crib wide awake, turn off the lights and close the door, then watch him on the monitor fall asleep all on his own. Yes, even YOUR kid.
Once independent sleep is mastered at bedtime, and then naptime, they WILL sleep for longer stretches through the night. When they do wake up or stir at different times, they won’t panic and think “where’s mom?”
Some things you can do TODAY to work toward independent sleep:
Set your baby up for success with these three environmental pillars:
+ swaddle or sleep sack – keeps baby snug, like inside mom and helps them feel secure
+ dark room – as pitch black as possible
+ white noise – sounds like the womb! And blocks out noise from the rest of the house
These positive sleep associations don’t require you to return to the room if baby wakes up. Just keep including them in your routine, every time you go to put your child down to sleep, and over time, they will settle easier and associate sleep with these cues because they know “it’s time for bed” or “it’s the middle of the night and still time to sleep.”
There are several different approaches to sleep training for independent sleep. What you do next may include you right by their side for every second or maybe a little less. Whatever it is, is up to you. Let me tell you, right now… WHATEVER you decide is completely fine.
Stay tuned for more tips here on the blog and on Instagram to help your baby sleep!
Contact me if you need help! We can book our free, no-pressure-to-book-anything-else consultation. I would love to chat with you about how we can get your baby to fall asleep independently.
