Our family vacation to Summerland, BC, Canada

Do you love all the memories formed on family trips but loathe the stress of getting there? Or even worse, the recovery at home afterward? We’ve all been there. You’re seven days away from leaving home and you have dog sitters, laundry and packing, the task of creating snack and activity bags for the drive, sometimes communicating logistics with extended family members if it’s a large family adventure… and about 100 other things on your list of things to do.

Fast forward through a whirlwind of chaos including amazing memories but also typical travel challenges. All of a sudden you’re arriving back at home exhausted from traveling. The house explodes with laundry and flotation devices leaking sand, everyone needs help catching up on their homework, and there’s no food in the fridge for the week ahead. How do people do this? Is it worth it?

YES. It is worth it, and to help you know that, here are 4 tips to make your family holiday a restful SUCCESS.

Choose the right accommodations in the right destination

Our double room suite at our trip this September to Summerland Waterfront Resort in Summerland, BC, Canada.

Everyone’s happier if the kids are having fun and taken care of, and you’ll definitely enjoy it more if you get some time to do what you want to do too. Personally, I’ve decided to plan family vacations to destinations where we can go do fun adventures and excursions which suit us as a family like renting a boat for a day on the lake or going to pick fruit at a local orchard. I cannot wait for the day when my kids reach the minimum weight requirement for ziplining!

When it comes to accommodations, I’ve learned it really is worth it to book spaces with some sort of a kitchen and also a layout which would accommodate grown up relaxing time - away from the children while they’re sleeping - which doesn’t consist of the hotel hallway. Sure, it’s a different kind of holiday. Our family trips don’t often include wine tours and classy restaurants and other adult events. We just call it what it is and choose to enjoy making memories together in a way that works for everyone. As a bonus, when other extended family members are part of the trip, taking turns babysitting in the evenings is a great way to enjoy one of those grown up activities.

Furthermore, anything “family friendly” is a bonus and very worth it in my opinion. After our recent stay at Summerland Waterfront Resort, we kept saying “we can’t wait to bring our extended family here and do everything we didn’t get to do this time!” Make sure to go check out play time at Summerland Waterfront Resort.

2. Begin every day by connecting with your kids

Our children need to know that even if their environment and schedule is completely different from at home, their stability comes from us. The day will be significantly smoother if you take a few unrushed minutes in the morning to connect with your child or children together. Even better if you do the same thing consistently every day. My son knows that in the morning at home, when his sun comes up on his Gro-Clock, it’s okay for him to get out of bed and play with toys quietly on the floor in his room.

On vacation when his sun comes up, I allow him to come and crawl into bed with me for 10-15 minutes before we get up to do anything else. We talk about what we’re excited for in our upcoming day or wherever his four-year-old mind takes us.

No matter how early we need to get out the door or what the sleeping arrangements are in our home-away-from-home, I keep this ritual sacred for my son. He can always count on this connection time. This moment is also really beneficial for me to remember what it’s all about.

Other connection ideas include reading a story while mom drinks coffee or a 3 minute dance party after the breakfast dishes are done. It could even be a special hand shake at some point in the morning. The specifics aren’t important, but any morning ritual with the intention to connect tells your child that they matter - which is what they need when you’re away from their familiar surroundings. It makes a difference in their responsiveness to you throughout the day (which is very important for harmony) and certainly in their rest at night which translates into rest for you too!

3. Recognize your children’s limits… as well as your own

When you’re right in the middle of something fun, it can be hard to say “okay, that’s enough.” However, you’ll thank yourself for it later. Kids and grandparents alike are especially skilled at finding reasons to push the limits because of course they’re not always responsible for the aftermath. Maintaining at least some version of a normal bedtime, ending the movie early, leaving a fun activity while everyone is still happy, and getting enough proper nutrition are all keys to success with children. These are all fairly common sense, but it’s significantly more difficult when “they don’t seem tired,” or it’s “just this once!” Furthermore, everyone will reap the benefits of your wise decisions on the following day.

I have also learned (the hard way) I need to be cognizant of my own limits so I can be the best parent possible. When I need to just suck it up and get over my FOMO and go take a nap, I try to remember it’s the best thing I can do for everyone. Also, after a couple past fails, I also always carry snacks... for everyone’s sanity.

4. Be grateful

There are always going to be hiccups and things we didn’t love while on vacation. It’s natural for us to feel and remember experiences that affected us negatively more than the things that were positive. So you can blame the psychological phenomenon called the “negativity bias” for ruining your whole vacation when the restaurant was overly busy and there was a long wait on the first night.

Or you can choose to remember the good memories and make them the focus of your perspective. The best way I’ve found to achieve this is to take photos and videos. Make sure you take action shots, smiling shots, and shots with YOU in them. It might feel cumbersome or awkward to ask someone if you need help in the moment. Later on it will be worth it to relive the feelings and memories attached to the photos when you look back on them. When you get home, share them with others and cherish those memories.